your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
