My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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