The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We left an ass print on the piano.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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