i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
