i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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