what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
