found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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