i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
