I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
