I could have mohawked her pubes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
