you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
