We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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