i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
