I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
