what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
