I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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