is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
