sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
