So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
