hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
