I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
