I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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