Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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