I want you more than these girls want KFC
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
