Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
