I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
