Betty ford says i'm here all night
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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