tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
