I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the day after is always just damage control
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
