dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
