I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
