His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
