Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
