i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
