Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
