love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
