I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
