I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
