ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
