this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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