As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish I only lived at night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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