i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
