If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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