I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize