This dress was meant to end up on your floor
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Holy shit dude........stairs
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
