I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
