is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
