she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
