Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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