Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
