i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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