If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
