Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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