At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize