Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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