ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i was born a porn star she said
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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