OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
