She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize