Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
