I didn't shave. On purpose
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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