Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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