No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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