I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
third nipple confirmed
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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