after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
